Eighth entry

13. Choose a representative passage from this novel that holds particular significance to you. Type it in and comment on its significance.

“Missionary,” He was asking, “why are you here?”
“Lord Jesus, it is for you we stand here, immersed not in water but in Sawi humanity. This is our baptism into the work you anticipated for us before creation. Keep us faithful. Empower us with your spirit. May your will be done among these people as it is in heaven. And if any good comes to them through us, the honor is yours!”
And he replied, “The peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall garrison your hearts and minds through Christ.”

For the first time in reading this book, I envied Don Richardson. This particular passage was striking. I think this was the turning point of my realization stage of God’s presence in the book. “Why are you here, missionary?” If God were to ask me that same question that he asked Don Richardson, would I be able to say with confidence, that I am here for him and his glory?
I cannot began to describe my heart-it is strangely difficult to make out the exact words that I am feeling. Yes, I would like to answer that I am here for his glory and for his will to be done. Yes, I wish I could say that everything that I’ve done in my life, every single choice, every decision and every action was for him. But the truth is that God knows better than I do, that it is not exactly the case. The answer that I would probably give would be, “Lord, there were so many things to do. I was so busy all the time. I forgot.” Irony in this is that the purpose of being “busy” is defected at this point. Why are we busy with school, homework, projects, and tests? Why do we want to go into a good college and get a good job? As a Christian, I’ve always told myself that I wanted to do all those things because I want to be able to fulfill what God wants me to do later in my life without obstacles. But what I often don’t see is that I am not in control of the work, but that the work is in control of me. There is a line from the Christmas carol that one of the characters says: “It seemed natural at first, but it started becoming passionate, fierce and consuming…and it is for somebody else.” The truth is that sometimes, the motivation for success is either forgotten, or becomes something else. I stress out from school and work, just from all the burdens in life yet my excuse for stressing myself is, “I’m doing it for God.” I wonder, as I write this entry, do I really want this for God or for myself?
I want the peace of God. As selfish as it might sound, I want a guaranteed peace that passes all understanding, which shall garrison heart and mind through Christ. Peace is what I really need from the burden of the world. I take granted of what God has given me as a gift- just having my father up in heaven. He will take care of me. He will listen. I have no doubt of that. But what I need to figure out is not to forget that I need to go to him for peace. I need to keep in mind that I cannot handle everything, and that is what I struggle with the most. “I can do it. I’ll just spend hours and hours doing it and it’ll all come together and I’ll be perfectly fine. I’ll be able to do everything…” So far, this didn’t work for me. What I’m thankful about is that God revealed to me what I really needed through reading the encounter of Don Richardson and Christ. I’ll try a new way, and through that way, I’ll be able to say, God I stand for you and your glory. I no longer will have to be jealous of the peace that Don Richardson received from God.